The Kitchen

September 6, 2015 Written By Charulata Ghosh

Welcome!

In this week’s feature we bring you The Kitchen.  Instead of  dealing with complicated processes,  let’s stick to some basic recipes and techniques.

Our ingredients today will include Sexism, Misogyny, Homophobia and some classified items which shall only be disclosed later.

Overseeing the entire feature will be, the world-renowned but mostly unrecognized, Sous Chef, Patriarchy.

Image Source

Before we proceed, Chef Patriarchy would like to establish a few ground rules.

1. The Kitchen cannot function ideally unless you have ‘liberal’(pun intended) doses of Sexism, Misogyny and Homophobia in everything.

2. Even though food is essential for survival and thus, cooking should be a life skill, it is absolutely crucial to minimize its importance and adopt a patronizing attitude towards people who can cook.

3. Sexism is vital. A woman who can cook and doesn’t cook for a living is only  fulfilling the natural order and therefore should not get any credit or appreciation. A woman who can cook and cooks for a living is most likely a cunning opportunist. A woman who cannot cook is an abomination and needs to be put in her proper place. A man who cannot cook has more important things to do in life. A man who can cook and cooks for a living is a highly successful individual who has been able to turn a worthless activity into a moneymaking industry. A man who can cook and doesn’t cook for a living is a failure and is not really ‘a man’. Anyone having trouble with the last concept should definitely practice the use of Homophobia, if not used previously.

4. Another helpful thing to remember is to include a handful of classism and casteism as desired. Regional varieties are always encouraged and artful usage of material in hand can further enhance the functioning of The Kitchen.

5. It is important to clarify that Sexism contains traces of Misogyny, in case people were wondering why it wasn’t being used properly. However, please note that Misogyny is a product created especially by PatriarchalSoc Pvt. Ltd. And cannot be found in other Kitchens.

6. Lastly, it is imperative to realize that these skills are acquired and ingrained in ways which you will not be aware of. That is the normal and correct procedure. Do not be alarmed if you see yourself working in certain ways without realizing it.

A word of caution that must be taken seriously. There have been talks of a rival institute being set up by a newly trained Sous Chef, Feminism. Anyone seen to have any relation or communication with this rival institute will immediately be expelled and confined to the Area of Suspicion-Misinterpretation-Ridicule-Ostracization. Period of confinement will be subject to change.

The Kitchen

September 6, 2015 Written By Charulata Ghosh

Welcome!

In this week’s feature we bring you The Kitchen.  Instead of  dealing with complicated processes,  let’s stick to some basic recipes and techniques.

Our ingredients today will include Sexism, Misogyny, Homophobia and some classified items which shall only be disclosed later.

Overseeing the entire feature will be, the world-renowned but mostly unrecognized, Sous Chef, Patriarchy.

Image Source

Before we proceed, Chef Patriarchy would like to establish a few ground rules.

1. The Kitchen cannot function ideally unless you have ‘liberal’(pun intended) doses of Sexism, Misogyny and Homophobia in everything.

2. Even though food is essential for survival and thus, cooking should be a life skill, it is absolutely crucial to minimize its importance and adopt a patronizing attitude towards people who can cook.

3. Sexism is vital. A woman who can cook and doesn’t cook for a living is only  fulfilling the natural order and therefore should not get any credit or appreciation. A woman who can cook and cooks for a living is most likely a cunning opportunist. A woman who cannot cook is an abomination and needs to be put in her proper place. A man who cannot cook has more important things to do in life. A man who can cook and cooks for a living is a highly successful individual who has been able to turn a worthless activity into a moneymaking industry. A man who can cook and doesn’t cook for a living is a failure and is not really ‘a man’. Anyone having trouble with the last concept should definitely practice the use of Homophobia, if not used previously.

4. Another helpful thing to remember is to include a handful of classism and casteism as desired. Regional varieties are always encouraged and artful usage of material in hand can further enhance the functioning of The Kitchen.

5. It is important to clarify that Sexism contains traces of Misogyny, in case people were wondering why it wasn’t being used properly. However, please note that Misogyny is a product created especially by PatriarchalSoc Pvt. Ltd. And cannot be found in other Kitchens.

6. Lastly, it is imperative to realize that these skills are acquired and ingrained in ways which you will not be aware of. That is the normal and correct procedure. Do not be alarmed if you see yourself working in certain ways without realizing it.

A word of caution that must be taken seriously. There have been talks of a rival institute being set up by a newly trained Sous Chef, Feminism. Anyone seen to have any relation or communication with this rival institute will immediately be expelled and confined to the Area of Suspicion-Misinterpretation-Ridicule-Ostracization. Period of confinement will be subject to change.

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